Chapter 9 of Looking Out/In deals with intimacy. Intimacy is defined as getting close with another person. The dimensions of intimacy are physical, intellectual, emotional, and shared activities. Intellectual intimacy is the one that is easiest for me to grasp. I enjoy sharing ideas with people. Philosophy is one of my interests, and I often discuss and argue it with my friends.
Physical intimacy is something that everyone seems to need. If one has not been touched by another person in a while, they often feel that something is missing from their life.
Emotional intimacy is the sharing of important feelings. This is not something I normally do.
Shared activities are something that I participate in. I do enjoy sports and music with friends. These activities do make friends feel closer.
Intimacy is influenced by culture. I come from the South, where emotional intimacy is typically not explored. Someone from the Northern part of this country would possibly have a different preferred style of expressing intimacy.
Chapter 10
Chapter 10 is about improving communication climates. A communication climate is the state of emotional tone of someone's relationship with another. To improve it is the key to a positive relationship.
The relationship's climate is based mostly on how valued each person in it feels. In order to preserve the relationship in a positive way, one should make sure that the other person in the relationship feels valued. Confirming messages make one feel valued, and disconfirming messages make one feel unvalued.
A positive communication climate can become a positive spiral. It continues once developed. Likewise, a negative climate can develop into a spiral. This can destroy a relationship.
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