Looking Out/Looking In Chapter 11

Chapter 11 is about interpersonal conflicts and how to deal with them. Conflict is part of life; when people live together and have relationships with each other they are bound to cross purposes. How one deals with conflict will determine how healthy the relationship with another person is. Conflict can be found in any relationship that has significance.

The causes of conflict can include many things, such as incompatible goals, scarce resources, interdependence, and interference. It is not always harmful. If one manages it properly, conflict can help both parties. 

The easiest way to deal with conflict is to accommodate the other person's wishes. Sometimes this can be the proper solution, especially if the source of conflict is not such a big deal. If the other person is more important than what the conflict is over, one should sacrifice the source of conflict.

Avoiding the conflict can be similar to accommodating, but it is more harmful. If one does not acknowledge that there is a conflict, one often has frustration issues. 

Competing is to fight for what you want. This is the way to act if the source of conflict is more important than the relationship.

Collaborating and compromising are the other ways to manage conflict. The outcomes are similar for them, but collaborating causes both conflicting parties to win and compromising causes both parties to partially win and partially lose. 

There is no one good way to manage conflict. All the styles should be taken into account, as well as what the conflict is about and how important the relationship is. If one does not do this, the relationship can be damaged and the conflict may not be won.