Looking Out/Looking In Chapters 3 and 4

Chapter three deals mainly with perception. Perception is something I have problems with. I sometimes think someone is acting a certain way for a reason that is not the correct one.

To really find a reason for a way someone else communicates in a certain situation, many things must be taken into account. These include physical condition, biological cycles, and how they are perceiving the other communicator.

A first impression of someone can cause either positive or negative ideas to develop about that person.
I have committed this error many times.

By assuming things about other people, one can jump to the wrong conclusions. I have done this many times, and it always worked out badly for me.

One thing this chapter helped me realize is to communicate very effectively with someone else, one must develop empathy for that person. This allows us to put ourselves in the other person's point of view, and can eliminate many communication errors.

Chapter 4

Chapter four deals mainly with emotions. Emotions have a very powerful presence in any communication. There are many factors that affect emotions, such as physiological factors and personality.

One's culture affects how they display emotion. Our modern culture in America is very emotionally expressive, and tends to encourage others to be emotionally expressive. This is not always a wholesome thing. Emotions are powerful, and they are fleeting. If one fully expresses an emotion, they can later on feel regret for what they did. One can also hurt others if they fully express their negative emotions about somebody. I believe that it is better to be moderate in emotional expression, in either positive or negative forms.

One's emotions can also influence other people. Emotional contagion is the action of spreading certain emotions through people. If someone displays a certain emotion, others are likely to display the same emotion even if they didn't feel it originally.

One problem with being overly emotional is to allow a debilitative emotion to control you.
People often allow this to happen and subscribe to certain fallacies. These fallacies include trying to be perfect, seeking approval, and over generalizing your own or other's behaviors.

Looking Out/Looking In Chapters 1 and 2 Review

Chapter One of Looking Out/Looking In stresses on how important it is for people to communicate and develop relationships. People that have been isolated from others for long periods of time have described as painful. A lack of close relationships can cause physical health problems, such as rising levels of stress hormones, that can affect one's body the same way as heart disease. People that have healthy relationships are more likely to live longer. Personal communication is essential for our well being. Many studies have shown that people that socialize and communicate effectively are happier.

There are different views of communication. The two main recognized ones are the linear view and the transactional view. The linear view states that for every communication there is a sender, a receiver, a message, a channel, and encoding. The transactional view states a similar idea, except that there is communicators instead of a sender and receiver. The communicators transmit and receive messages simultaneously.

There are truths of communication, and here are several. Communication is irreversible. It is impossible not to communicate. Communication is unrepeatable. There is no one ideal way to communicate.

Chapter Two deals with how one views them self. This includes: moods, appearances, social traits, talents, intellect, strong beliefs, social role, physical condition. I have compiled a list for myself:
Mood: I am generally happy.
Appearance: Tall, brown haired white male
Social traits: I am generally reserved.
Talents I have: I am musical. I play the banjo, the dobro, and the guitar. I am athletic, and prefer individual sports like surfing, snowboarding, hiking, biking.
Talents I do not have: I am not a good singer.
Intellect: I am smart but not always wise.
Strong Beliefs: I am a Seventh Day Adventist and a libertarian.
Physical Condition: I am in shape.

Self-esteem is how one evaluates their self worth. The self-esteem of one determines how they feel about their qualities. People with a high self-esteem tend to have a positive cycle of communication behavior. It is usually better to have a high self-esteem, but an exaggerated self-esteem may lead to an unrealistic view of one's self. Self-esteem can be the starting point for self-fulfilling prophecies.